Passage Three
In addition to urge to conform which we generate ourselves, there is the external pressure of the various formal and informal groups we belong to, the pressure to back their ideas and attitudes and to imitate their actions. Thus our urge to conform receives continuing, even daily reinforcement. To be sure, the intensity of the reinforcement, like the strength of the urge and the ability and inclination to withstand it, differs widely among individuals. Yet some pressure is present for everyone. And in one way or another, to some extent, everyone yields to it.
It is possible that a new member of a temperance group might object the group's rigid insistence that all drinking of alcoholic beverages is wrong. He might even speak out, reminding them that occasional, moderate drinking is not harmful, that even the Bible speaks approvingly of it. But the group may quickly let him know that such ideas are unwelcome in their presence. Every time he forgets this, he will be made to feel uncomfortable. In time, if he values their companionship he will avoid expressing that point of view. He may even keep himself from thinking.
This kind of pressure, whether spoken or unspoken, can be generated by any group, regardless of how liberal or conservative, formal or casual it may be. Friday night poker clubs, churches, political parties, committees, fraternities, unions. The teenage gang that steals automobile accessories may seem to have no taboos. But let one uneasy member remark that he is beginning to feel guilty about his crimes and their wrath will descend on him.
Similarly, in high school and college, the crowd a student travels with has certain (usually unstate D) expectations for its members. If they drink or smoke, they will often make the member who does not do so feel that he doesn't fully belong. If a member does not share their views on sex, drugs, studying, cheating, or any other subject of importance to them, they will communicate their displeasure. The way they communicate, of course, may be more or less direct. They may tell him he'd better conform 'or else'. They may launch a teasing campaign against him. Or they may be even less obvious and leave him out of their activities for a few days until he asks what is wrong or decides for himself and resolves to behave more like them.
The urge to conform on occasion conflicts with the tendency to resist change. If the group we are in advocates an idea or action that is new and strange to us, we can be torn between seeking their acceptance and maintaining the security of familiar ideas and behavior. In such cases, the way we tuna will depend on which tendency is stronger in us or which value we are more committed to. More often, —however, the two tendencies do not conflict but reinforce each other. For we tend to associate with those whose attitudes and actions are similar to our own.