单选题 .  SECTION A MULTIPLE CHOICE QUESTIONS
    PASSAGE ONE
    (1)When Andy came to Shawshank in 1948, he was thirty years old. He was a short neat little man with sandy hair and small, clever hands. He wore gold-rimmed spectacles. His fingernails were always clipped, and they were always clean. That's a funny thing to remember about a man, I suppose, but it seems to sum Andy up for me. He always looked as if he should have been wearing a tie. On the outside he had been a vice-president in the trust department of a large Portland bank. Good work for a man as young as he was, especially when you consider how conservative most banks are...and you have to multiply that conservatism by ten when you get up into New England, where folks don't like to trust a man with their money unless he's bald, limping, and constantly plucking at his pants to get his truss around straight. Andy was in for murdering his wife and her lover.
    (2)As I believe I have said, everyone in prison is an innocent man. Oh, they read that scripture the way those holy rollers on TV read the Book of Revelation. They were the victims of judges with hearts of stone and balls to match, or incompetent lawyers, or police frame-ups, or bad luck. They read the scripture, but you can see a different scripture in their faces. Most cons are a low sort, no good to themselves or anyone else, and their worst luck was that their mothers carried them to term.
    (3)In all my years at Shawshank, there have been less than ten men whom I believed when they told me they were innocent. Andy Dufresne was one of them, although I only became convinced of his innocence over a period of years. If I had been on the jury that heard his case in Portland Superior Court over six stormy weeks in 1947-1948, I would have voted to convict, too.
    (4)It was one hell of a case, all right; one of those juicy ones with all the right elements. There was a beautiful girl with society connections (dead), a local sports figure (also dead), and a prominent young businessman in the dock. There was this, plus all the scandal the newspapers could hint at. The prosecution had an open-and-shut case. The trial only lasted as long as it did because the DA (地方检察官) was planning to run for the U.S. House of Representatives and he wanted John Q Public to get a good long look at his phiz (脸). It was a crackerjack legal circus, with spectators getting in line at four in the morning, despite the subzero temperatures, to assure themselves of a seat.
    (5)The facts of the prosecution's case that Andy never contested were these: That he had a wife, Linda Collins Dufresne; that in June of 1947 she had expressed an interest in learning the game of golf at the Falmouth Hills Country Club; that she did indeed take lessons for four months; that her instructor was the Falmouth Hills golf pro, Glenn Quentin; that in late August of 1947 Andy learned that Quentin and his wife had become lovers; that Andy and Linda Dufresne argued bitterly on the afternoon of 10 September 1947; that the subject of their argument was her infidelity.
    (6)He testified that Linda professed to be glad he knew; the sneaking around, she said, was distressing. She told Andy that she planned to obtain a Reno divorce. Andy told her he would see her in hell before he would see her in Reno. She went off to spend the night with Quentin in Quentin's rented bungalow not far from the golf course.
    (7)The next morning his cleaning woman found both of them dead in bed. Each had been shot four times.
    (8)It was that last fact that mitigated more against Andy than any of the others. The DA with the political aspirations made a great deal of it in his opening statement and his closing summation. Andrew Dufresne, he said, was not a wronged husband seeking a hot-blooded revenge against his cheating wife; that, the DA said, could be understood, if not condoned. But this revenge had been of a much colder type. Consider! the DA thundered at the jury. Four and four! Not six shots, but eight! He had fired the gun empty...and then stopped to reload so he could shoot each of them again! FOUR FOR HIM AND FOUR FOR HER, the Portland Sun blared. The Boston Register dubbed him The Even-Steven Killer.
    (9)A clerk from the Wise Pawnshop in Lewiston testified that he had sold a six-shot. 38 Police Special to Andrew Dufresne just two days before the double murder. A bartender from the country club bar testified that Andy had come in around seven o'clock on the evening of 10 September, had tossed off three straight whiskeys in a twenty-minute period—when he got up from the bar-stool he told the bartender that he was going up to Glenn Quenfin's house and he, the bartender, could "read about the rest of it in the papers". Another clerk, this one from the Handy-Pik store a mile or so from Quentin's house, told the court that Dufresne had come in around a quarter to nine on the same night. He purchased cigarettes, three quarts of beer, and some dish-towels. The county medical examiner testified that Quentin and the Dufresne woman had been killed between eleven p.m. and two a.m. on the night of 10-11 September. The detective from the Attorney General's office who had been in charge of the case testified that there was a turnout less than seventy yards from the bungalow, and that on the afternoon of 11 September, three pieces of evidence had been removed from that turnout: first item, two empty quart bottles of Narragansett Beer (with the defendant's fingerprints on them); the second item, twelve cigarette ends (all Kools, the defendant's brand); third item, a plaster moulage of a set of tyre tracks (exactly matching the tread-and-wear pattern of the tyres on the defendant's 1947 Plymouth).
    (10)In the living room of Quentin's bungalow, four dishtowels had been found lying on the sofa. There were bullet-holes through them and powder-burns on them. The detective theorized (over the agonized objections of Andy's lawyer) that the murderer had wrapped the towels around the muzzle of the murder-weapon to muffle the sound of the gunshots.
    PASSAGE TWO
    (1)At a Father's Day breakfast, my 5-year-old son and his classmates sang a song about fathers, crooning about "my dad who's big and strong" and "fixes things with his hammer" and, above all else, "is really cool."
    (2)Now, there's nothing wrong with most of these qualities in and of themselves. But when these lyrics are passed down as the defining soundtrack to masculine identity, we limit children's understanding not just of what it means to be a father but of what it means to be a man—and a boy, as well.
    (3)When fathers appear in children's picture books, they're angling for laughs, taking their sons on adventures or modeling physical strength or stoic independence. There is the rare exception in children's books where a father baldly demonstrates—without symbolic gestures—his love for his son (a few are Guess How Much I Love You and Oh, Oh, Baby Boy!). Just as women's studies classes have long examined the ways that gendered language undermines women and girls, a growing body of research shows that stereotypical messages are similarly damaging to boys.
    (4)A 2014 study in Pediatrics found that mothers interacted vocally more often with their infant daughters than they did with their infant sons. In a different study, a team of British researchers found that Spanish mothers were more likely to use emotional words and emotional topics when speaking with their 4-year-old daughters than with their 4-year-old sons. Interestingly, the same study revealed that daughters were more likely than sons to speak about their emotions with their fathers when talking about past experiences. And during these reminiscing conversations, fathers used more emotion-laden words with their 4-year-old daughters than with their 4-year-old sons.
    (5)What's more, a 2017 study led by Emory University researchers discovered, among other things, that fathers also sing and smile more to their daughters, and they use language that is more "analytical" and that acknowledges their sadness far more than they do with their sons. The words they use with sons are more focused on achievement—such as "win" and "proud". Researchers believe that these discrepancies in fathers' language may contribute to "the consistent findings that girls outperform boys in school achievement outcomes."
    (6)After visits to the emergency room for accidental injuries, another study found, parents of both genders talk differently to sons than they do to daughters. They are nearly four times more likely to tell girls than boys to be more careful if undertaking the same activity again. The same study cited earlier research which found that parents of both genders used "directives" when teaching their 2- to 4-year-old sons how to climb down a playground pole but offered extensive "explanations" to daughters.
    (7)Even boys' literacy skills seem to be impacted by the taciturn way we expect them to speak. In his book Manhood in America, Michael Kimmel, the masculine studies researcher and author, maintains that "the traditional liberal arts curriculum is seen as feminizing by boys." Nowhere is this truer than in English classes where, as I've witnessed after more than 20 years of teaching, boys and young men police each other when other guys display overt interest in literature or creative writing assignments. Typically, non-fiction reading and writing passes muster because it poses little threat for boys. But literary fiction, and especially poetry, are mediums to fear. Why? They're the language of emotional exposure, purported feminine "weakness" —the very thing our scripting has taught them to avoid at best, suppress, at worst.
    (8)Women often say they want men to be emotionally transparent with them. But as the vulnerability and shame expert Brené Brown reveals in her book, "Daring Greatly", many grow uneasy or even recoil if men take them up on their offer.
    (9)Indeed, a Canadian study found that college-aged female respondents considered men more attractive if they used shorter words and sentences and spoke less. This finding seems to jibe with Dr. Brown's research, suggesting that the less men risk emoting verbally, the more appealing they appear.
    (10)Such squelching messages run counter-intuitively to male wiring, it turns out: Guys are born more emotionally sensitive than girls.
    (11)For three decades the research of Edward Tronick explored the interplay between infants and their mothers. He and his colleagues in the department of newborn medicine at Harvard Medical School discovered that mothers unconsciously interacted with their infant sons more attentively and vigilantly than they did with their infant daughters because the sons needed more support for controlling their emotions. Some of their research found that boys' emotional reactivity was eventually "restricted or perhaps more change-worthy than the reactivity of girls," Dr. Tronick noted in an email. Mothers initiated this—through physical withdrawal.
    (12)"So the 'manning up' of infant boys begins early on in their typical interactions," Dr. Tronick said, "and long before language plays its role."
    (13)Judy Chu, a human biologist, conducted a two-year study of 4- and 5-year-old boys and found that they were as astute as girls at reading other people's emotions and at cultivating close, meaningful friendships. In her book When Boys Become Boys she maintains that by the time the boys reached first grade, sometimes earlier, they traded their innate empathy for a learned stoicism and greater emotional distance from friends. Interestingly, they adopted this new behavior in public, exclusively, but not at home or when their parents were around.
    (14)Why do we limit the emotional vocabulary of boys?
    (15)We tell ourselves we are preparing our sons to fight (literally and figuratively), to compete in a world and economy that's brutish and callous. The sooner we can groom them for this dystopian (反乌托邦的) future, the better off they'll be. But the Harvard psychologist Susan David insists the opposite is true: "Research shows that people who suppress emotions have lower-level resilience and emotional health."
    (16)How can we change this? We can start, says Dr. David, by letting boys experience their emotions, all of them, without judgment—or by offering them solutions. This means helping them learn the crucial lessons that "Emotions aren't good or bad" and that "their emotions aren't bigger than they are. They aren't something to fear."
    (17)Say to boys: "I can see that you're upset," or ask them, "What are you feeling?" or "What's going on for you right now?" There doesn't have to be any grand plan beyond this, she says. "Just show up for them. Get them talking. Show that you want to hear what they're saying."
    PASSAGE THREE
    (1)We have an intimate relationship with our phones. We sleep with them, eat with them and carry them in our pockets. We check them, on average, 47 times a day—82 times if you're between 18 and 24 years old, according to recent data.
    (2)And we love them for good reasons: They tell the weather, the time of day and the steps we've taken. They find us dates, entertain us with music and connect us to friends and family. They answer our questions and quell feelings of loneliness and anxiety.
    (3)But phone love can go too far—so far that it can interfere with human love—old fashioned face-to-face intimacy with that living and breathing being you call your partner, spouse, lover or significant other.
    (4)The conflict between phone love and human love is so common, it has its own lexicon (词汇). If you're snubbing your partner in favor of your phone it's called phubbing (phone+snubbing). If you're snubbing a person in favor of any type of technology, it's called technoference. A popular song by Lost Kings even asks: "Why don't you put that [expletive] phone down?"
    (5)"A key to a healthy relationship is being present," said James Roberts, author of Too Much of a Good Thing: Are You Addicted to Your Smartphone? When one partner constantly checks his or her phone it sends an implicit message that they find the phone (or what's on it) more interesting than you.
    (6)In a 2016 study published in the journal Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 70 percent of women revealed that smartphones were negatively affecting their primary relationship. More than one-third of the 143 women in the study said their partner responded to notifications mid-conversation; one out of four said their partner texted during conversations. The women who reported high levels of technoference in interactions with their partners were less happy with their relationships and with their lives overall.
    (7)It's not just women who are feeling dissed. Dr. Roberts, who is a professor of marketing at Baylor University, asked 175 men and women questions about their partners' smartphone use. Nearly half of respondents, 46 percent, reported being phone snubbed (phubbed) by their partner. People who reported higher levels of phubbing also reported higher levels of relationship conflict.
    (8)In our quest to be connected through technology, we're tuning out our partners and interrupting a kind of biological broadband connection.
    (9)"People are beginning to realize that something is amiss," said Sherry Turkle, an M.I.T. technology professor and author of Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age. "They don't necessarily know what to do about it, but they are open to change."
    (10)Judith Bell, a leadership coach and co-founder of Relationships That Work in Novato, Calif., has noticed that her clients are starting to respect phone boundaries. "Now they turn off their phones when they are in session. A few years back, they would let themselves be interrupted."
    (11)If you're feeling frustrated by phone interference in your relationship, talk to your partner but be positive. "Emphasize the benefits of being more connected," Ms. Bell said. Rather than dictate to your partner what they should or should not do, try an approach such as, "I love talking with you, but when you're constantly checking your phone it's hard to have a great conversation."
    (12)"The first step is awareness," Dr. Roberts said.
    (13)Here are some suggested ways to break up with your phone long enough to connect with your partner.
    (14)Designate "no cell" zones in your home. With your partner, decide which areas of your home, such as the living room and the kitchen, should be technology-free. And consider eliminating phone use in the car so that you can use that time to talk to your partner about whatever is on your mind.
    (15)Try a phone-free bedroom for one week. Yes, it's fun to check Twitter just before bed, or when you're sleepless at 2 a.m., but you might be more likely to converse with your partner if the phone were elsewhere. And just the act of favoring your relationship over your phone sends a clear message to your partner.
    (16)"Buy some old-fashioned alarm clocks for your bedside table," Dr. Turkle suggested. "Put your cellphones in a basket in the kitchen."
    (17)Keep phones off the table. When you're eating at home or in a restaurant, keep phones off the table. The mere presence of a cellphone—with the possibility of it chirping or buzzing at any moment—can inhibit the free flow of conversation, according to a study published last year in the journal Environment & Behavior. Researchers examined how conversations between two people were influenced by cellphones. When a phone was present during a conversation, the partners rated the conversation as less fulfilling and reported less feelings of empathic concern than when phones were absent.
    (18)Practice phone etiquette. If you must look at your phone, announce that you are doing so. "I am just checking the score/weather/playlist for two minutes," shows courtesy and indicates to your partner that you are aware that your attention is shifting. It may also make you more aware of how often you pick up your phone when your partner is present.
    (19)If your partner's job demands round-the-clock availability, discuss reasonable boundaries that would satisfy both the job and you.
    (20)"The big challenge is that people are not talking about these issues enough," said Daniel Ellenberg, a psychotherapist (精神治疗医师) and partner with Ms. Bell in Relationships That Work. "We need to open up the social intercourse."
    (21)Should your partner seem reluctant to let go of ingrained phone habits, consider turning to an objective source. Rather than wag your finger, you might suggest that you both take a closer look at your phone habits.
    (22)"Couples need to form an alliance and decide together what are the new rules," Dr. Turkle said.
    (23)Dr. David Greenfield, a University of Connecticut psychiatry professor and founder of the Center for Internet and Technology Addiction developed a simple quiz, the Smartphone Compulsion Test, to help determine if a person's phone use is problematic. Let the score be the judge, rather than you.1.  What does "it" in the first paragraph refer to? ______ (PASSAGE ONE)
【正确答案】 A
【答案解析】 语义理解题。根据题干提示定位至第一段。该段第五句提到,我觉得,记住一个男人的这一点是一件很滑稽的事情,但对我而言,it似乎概括了安迪的最典型特征。而前一句指出他的指甲永远剪得整整齐齐、干干净净。由此可知,此处的it是指安迪的干净整洁,故A为答案。该段第二句话提到他是一个身材矮小且衣着整洁的人,有着一头棕发和一双小巧的手,原文虽然提及安迪的身高,但并未表明记住他的身高令人感觉滑稽,故排除B,同时排除C,该句虽然提到clever,但该词是用来形容安迪的双手,而不是强调他很聪明;该段第三句指出安迪戴了一副金边眼镜,但无法推断出安迪就是近视,故排除D。
[参考译文] PASSAGE ONE
   (1)当安迪于1948年来到肖申克时才三十岁。他是一个身材矮小且衣着整洁的人,有着一头棕发和一双小巧的手。他戴了一副金边眼镜。他的指甲永远剪得整整齐齐、干干净净。我觉得,记住一个男人的这一点是一件很滑稽的事情,但对我而言,这似乎概括了安迪的最典型特征。他总是看起来像是应该一直打着领带。入狱前,他曾是波特兰一家大银行信托部的副总裁。对于和他一样年轻的人来说,这是一份好工作,尤其是当你想到大多数银行有多么保守的时候……而且在你奋斗进新英格兰之后,你得把这种保守性放大十倍。在当地,人们不喜欢把钱委托给他人,除非这个人秃顶,步履蹒跚,而且总在拉自己的长裤,好让裤子周围的线条变得笔挺。安迪因为谋杀了他的老婆及其情夫而入狱。
   (2)我相信自己曾经说过,每个坐牢的人都是清白无罪的。哦,他们用电视上那些宗教狂热者读《启示录》的方式来诵读经文。他们由于铁石心肠的法官、无能的律师、警察的诬陷,或者糟糕的运气,成了受害者。他们诵读宗教经文,却口是心非。大多数囚犯都是卑劣者,对他们自己或者其他任何人都无益,而他们最差的运气就是他们的母亲把他们生了下来。
   (3)在我待在肖申克的这些年里,当他们对我说自己无辜时,我相信只有不到十个人说了真话。安迪·杜佛兰就是其中之一,然而我也是经过了数年时间才确信他的清白。1947—1948年,其案件在波特兰高等法院的听审会争论激烈,持续了六周,如果我是当时的陪审团成员,我也会投票定罪。
   (4)好吧,这是一个典型的案件;是那些具有了全部必备要素的很刺激的案件之一。有一位交友广泛的美女(已身亡),一位当地的运动明星(也已身亡),还有一位著名的青年商人是被告。这一点,再加上报纸暗示的所有流言蜚语。控方认为该案件昭然若揭。审判时间持续如此之长仅仅是因为地方检察官正在计划竞选众议员,他想让普通民众仔细地看一下他的长相。这是一场出色的法庭秀,旁听者不顾零下的温度,清晨四点就在排队,以确保自己能有一个席位。
   (5)这起诉讼案中安迪从未提出抗辩的事实如下:他有一位名叫琳达·柯林斯·杜佛兰的妻子;1947年6月,她表示有兴趣在法尔茅斯山乡村俱乐部学习高尔夫球;她确实上了四个月的课;她的教练是法尔茅斯山的职业高尔夫球员格林·昆丁;1947年8月底,安迪得知昆丁与其妻子早已成为了情人;1947年9月10日下午,安迪与琳达·杜佛兰大吵了一架;他们争吵的内容是她的外遇。
   (6)安迪供称,琳达当时表示很高兴他知道了;她说道,偷偷摸摸太令人痛苦了。她告诉安迪自己打算在雷诺市办离婚手续。安迪则回答她,在看到她在雷诺市之前,她先下地狱吧。于是她离开了家,到昆丁在高尔夫球场附近租的平房与他共度当晚。
   (7)第二天早上,昆丁的清洁女佣发现两个人都死在床上了。每人身中四枪。
   (8)与其他任何一项事实相比,就是这最后一项对安迪最为不利。有政治抱负的地方检察官在他的开庭陈述及总结陈词里对此大加渲染。他表示,安迪·杜佛兰并非一位遭受侮辱的丈夫,向出轨的妻子冲动寻仇;地方检察官说道,即使这不可饶恕,却也可以理解。但这一报复行为是更为冷血的一种。地方检察官向陪审团大声疾呼:仔细想想吧!四枪和四枪!不是开了六枪,而是八枪!他打光了枪里的子弹……然后停下来换弹匣,这样他就能再向每个人开一次枪!《波特兰太阳报》赫然标着:四枪打向他,四枪打向她。《波士顿记录报》把他称为“公平杀手”。
   (9)刘易斯顿市怀斯当铺的伙计作证说,就在这起双重谋杀案发生的前两天,他卖给了安迪·杜佛兰一支点三八英寸口径的警察专用手枪,弹容量为六发。乡村俱乐部的一位酒保作证说,安迪于9月10日晚上7点左右进来,在二十分钟的时间里灌下了三杯纯威士忌——当他从吧凳上站起来时,他告诉酒保他要去格林·昆丁家,并说欲知后事如何,明天看报纸就知道了。另一位店员来自距离昆丁家一英里左右的皮克便利店,他告诉法庭,杜佛兰在当晚8点45分左右进店。他买了香烟、三夸托啤酒,和一些擦碗布。该县的法医证实昆丁和杜佛兰夫人是在9月10日晚上11点到9月11日凌晨2点之间遇害的。总检察长办公室负责此案的探员证实,在距离平房不到70码的地方有一个岔路口,9月11日下午,从该岔路口带走了三项物证:第一项,两个纳拉甘西特啤酒的空夸脱瓶(上面有被告的指纹);第二项,十二个烟头(全是库尔牌的,正是被告抽的牌子);第三项,一组轮胎辙痕的石膏模型(与被告1947款普利茅斯的轮胎磨损完全吻合)。
   (10)在昆丁房子的起居室里,发现有四条擦碗布放在沙发上。它们上面有弹孔和火药灼伤的痕迹。探员推理说(不顾安迪律师的苦苦反对),凶手把这些毛巾包在凶器的枪口上,以便消去枪声。
   PASSAGE TWO
   (1)有一年父亲节,我五岁的儿子和他的同学在吃早餐时唱了一首有关父亲的歌,低声哼着“我那又高又壮的爸爸”和“用他的锤子修理东西”,还有最重要的一部分“真的很酷”。
   (2)你要知道,这些品质大多数本身并没有什么问题。但是,当这些歌词被作为定义男性身份的声迹传承下来时,我们不仅限制了孩子们对作为一个父亲意味着什么的理解,也限制了他们对作为一个男人和一个男孩意味着什么的理解。
   (3)出现在孩子画册里的父亲不是在逗笑,就是在带着儿子冒险,或是展示体力或坚韧的独立性。父亲不加掩饰地表现出——没有任何象征性的举动——他对儿子的爱,童书里鲜少有这种例外(少数几本例外是《猜猜我有多爱你》和《哦,哦,宝贝儿子!》)。就在女性研究的课程长期调查性别语言对女性和女孩逐渐造成损害的方式时,越来越多的研究表明,这些老一套的信息也同样对男孩有害。
   (4)2014年《儿科学》上刊登的一项研究发现,母亲与女婴的语言互动频率高于和男婴的互动。在另一项研究中,英国的一组研究人员发现,西班牙的母亲在与四岁大的女儿说话时,使用带感情色彩的词语和话题的可能性要比与四岁大的儿子说话时高。有趣的是,该项研究还显示,在谈论过去的经历时,女儿比儿子更有可能和父亲谈及她们的感情。在这些回忆往事的谈话中,父亲对四岁的女儿使用充满感情的词语要比对四岁的儿子多。
   (5)此外,2017年,埃默里大学研究人员领导的一项研究发现,在其他方面,与对儿子相比,父亲对女儿唱歌和微笑的次数更多,使用的语言比对儿子的更具“分析性”且更能表现他们的悲伤。他们对儿子的用词更侧重成就——比如“获胜”和“自豪”。研究人员认为,父亲语言中的这些差异,也许是造成“女孩的学业成就超过男孩这个一致的研究结果”的原因。
   (6)在去过意外伤害急诊室多次之后,另一项研究发现,不论是父亲还是母亲都用不同的方式对儿子和女儿说话。他们告诉女儿如果再进行同一项活动就要更加小心的可能性,是对儿子这么说的四倍。这项研究还引用了一项早期研究,这项早期研究发现,父母在教两到四岁的儿子如何从操场的杆子上爬下来时会使用许多“指令”,但却给女儿做出了大量的“解释”。
   (7)甚至男孩的读写能力,似乎也受到了沉默寡言的影响,而我们又期望他们以这种方式说话。研究男子气概的研究人员兼作家迈克尔·基梅尔在他的《美国的男子气概》一书中坚称“传统的文科课程被男孩视为女性化”。英语课堂就是最好的例子,正如我在执教二十多年后亲眼见到的那样,在英语课上,当其他男性对文学或创造性写作任务表现出公开的兴趣时,男孩和年轻男性就会互相监督。通常来说,纪实作品的阅读和写作还过得去,因为它对男孩构成不了什么威胁。但文学小说,尤其是诗歌,是恐惧的载体。为什么?因为它们是表露情感的语言,传说中的女性“弱点”——正是我们的剧本中已经教育他们最好要避免,至少也要抑制的东西。
   (8)女人们经常说,她们想要男人们在情感上对她们透明。但正如脆弱性与耻辱感的专家布莱内·布朗在她的《勇敢依旧》一书中所揭示的,如果男人接受她们这个要求,许多女人会变得不安,甚至畏缩。
   (9)的确,加拿大的一项研究发现,处于大学生年龄段的女性受访者认为,沉默寡言、使用较短的单词和句子的男性更有吸引力。该发现似乎符合布朗博士的研究,认为男性越少冒险使用语言表达感情,他们的魅力就越大。
   (10)这种压制性信息违背了男人的直觉,结果表明:在感情方面,男孩天生比女孩情绪更敏感。
   (11)三十年以来,爱德华·特罗尼克的研究一直在探讨母婴之间的相互影响。他和他在哈佛医学院新生儿医学系的同事们发现,母亲与男婴之间无意识的互动比与女婴之间的更为专注和警惕,因为男婴需要更多的支持才能控制其情绪。特罗尼克博士在一封电子邮件中指出,他们的一些研究发现,男孩的情绪反应最终“受到限制,或者,也许比女孩的反应更值得改变”。母亲们通过躯体戒断来启动改变。
   (12)“所以,早在典型的母婴互动之时,早在语言发挥作用之前,‘拿出男人样’的教育就已经开始了,”特罗尼克博士说道,“远在语言发挥其作用之前。”
   (13)人类生物学家朱迪·朱对四岁和五岁的男孩进行了为期两年的研究,并发现在读懂他人的情感以及培养亲密、有意义的友谊这两方面,他们和女孩一样敏锐。在她的《当男孩成为男孩》一书中,她坚称,等男孩们到了上一年级的时候,有时候会更早,他们就会把天生的共情换成后天习得的坚忍以及与朋友之间更大的情感距离。有趣的是,他们仅在公共场合采取这种新行为,但在家里或者父母在身边时不会这么做。
   (14)为什么我们要限制男孩的情感词汇?
   (15)我们告诉自己,我们是在帮儿子们备战(不管是从字面意思还是象征意义上讲都是如此),在野蛮无情的世界与经济之中竞争。我们越早帮他们为反乌托邦的未来做好准备,他们将来就会过得越好。但哈佛大学心理学家苏珊·戴维坚称事实正好相反:“研究表明,抑制情绪的人恢复力和情绪健康水平都较低。”
   (16)我们怎样才能改变这点?戴维博士说道,我们可以从让男孩们体验自己的情绪开始,所有的情绪,无须评判——或者从向他们提供解决方法开始。这意味着帮助他们汲取至关重要的经验教训:“情绪不分好坏”和“他们的情绪并没有比他们更重要。情绪不是需要害怕的东西。”
   (17)告诉男孩们:“我能看出来你很不安”,或者问他们:“你现在感觉怎么样?”或“你现在怎么了?”她说道,除此之外,不必有什么大计划。“只用出现在他们身边。让他们说话。表示你想听他们所说的东西。”
   PASSAGE THREE
   (1)我们与自己的手机有着亲密的关系。我们和它们一起睡觉、一起吃饭,还把它们放在口袋里随身携带。根据最新的数据,我们平均每天查看手机47次——年龄在18到24岁之间的人则是82次。
   (2)我们爱它们的理由很多:它们会显示天气情况、时间以及我们走了多少步。它们帮助我们寻找约会对象、用音乐娱乐我们,把我们与朋友及家人联系在一起。它们回答我们的问题,并减轻孤独感和焦虑感。
   (3)但对手机的喜爱之情可能太过了——以至于它会干扰到对人类的爱——与你称之为伴侣、配偶、爱人或另一半的那个活人之间面对面的老式亲密关系。
   (4)对手机的爱与对人类的爱,这两者之间的冲突如此常见,甚至有了专门的词汇来形容它。如果你因为偏爱手机而冷落伴侣,这被称为手机冷落。如果你因为偏爱任何一种技术而冷落一个人,这被称为技术干扰。迷失的国王乐队的一首流行歌曲甚至问道:“你为什么不放下那[脏话]手机?”
   (5)“一段健康关系的关键是陪伴,”詹姆斯·罗伯茨说道,他是《过犹不及:你对智能手机上瘾了吗?》的作者。当一位伴侣不停地查看他或她的手机时,该行为传递的隐含信息是,他们觉得手机(或者手机上的东西)比你更有趣。
   (6)《大众传媒文化心理学》杂志2016年发表的一项研究发现,70%的女性透露道,智能手机对其主要关系产生了负面影响。参与该研究的143名女性中超过三分之一的人表示,她们的伴侣在谈话中查看手机推送通知;四分之一的人则表示,她们的伴侣在谈话期间发短信。与其伴侣的互动受到技术干扰程度较高的女性,总的来说,对其关系和生活更不满意。
   (7)不只是女性感觉受到了侮辱。贝勒大学的营销学教授罗伯茨博士,询问了175位男性和女性其伴侣的智能手机使用情况。近半数(46%)的受访者表示,因伴侣频繁查看手机而感觉受到冷落。感觉受冷落程度更高的人也表示双方关系中的冲突更多。
   (8)我们一直追求通过技术与人取得联系,但我们却忽视了自己的伴侣并中断了某种生物学上的宽带连接。
   (9)“人们开始意识到这有些不妥,”雪莉·特克尔说道,她是麻省理工学院的技术系教授和《找回对话:数字时代交谈的力量》一书的作者。“他们未必知晓应对方法,但是他们愿意做出改变。”
   (10)加利福尼亚州诺瓦托市有效关系公司的领导力教练兼联合创始人朱迪思·贝尔已注意到其客户们开始尊重手机使用的界限。“如今,他们上课时会关掉手机。几年前,他们允许自己上课时被手机打断。”
   (11)如果你为手机干扰到你们的关系而感到沮丧,那就和你的伴侣谈谈,但态度要积极。“强调多联系的好处,”贝尔女士说道。不要命令你的伴侣应该做什么,不应该做什么,而是尝试如下方法:“我喜欢和你聊天,但是当你不停地查看手机时,就很难进行愉快的交谈了。”
   (12)“首先,要意识到这个问题。”罗伯茨博士说道。
   (13)下面是一些能让你跟手机分开足够长的时间,以便与伴侣进行沟通的方法。
   (14)在家中指定一个“无手机”区域。和你的伴侣一起,决定家中何处应该脱离科技产品,比如起居室和厨房。并考虑在车上杜绝使用手机,这样你就能利用这段时间与伴侣谈论自己的任何想法。
   (15)尝试一个星期不把手机带进卧室。是的,睡前或者凌晨2点失眠时看推特很有趣,但如果手机在别处,你与伴侣交谈的可能性也许就更大。单是更看重你们的关系而非手机的这种行为就会给你的伴侣传递一个明确的信息。
   (16)“买一些老式闹钟放在床头柜上,”特克尔博士建议道。“把你的手机放在厨房的篮子里。”
   (17)不要把手机放在餐桌上。当你在家中或餐馆里吃饭时,不要把手机放在桌上。根据去年发表在《环境与行为》杂志上的一项研究,单是手机的存在就可能阻碍自然流畅的谈话,因为它随时可能响铃或震动。研究人员调查了两个人之间的交谈是如何受到手机的影响。当谈话期间有手机在场时,双方都认为谈话不那么令人满意,并表示有手机时对人的共情关注感要少。
   (18)遵循手机礼节。如果你必须查看手机,那就告知对方你要这么做。“我只是花两分钟时间查看一下比分/天气/播放列表。”既体现了礼貌,又向伴侣表明了你意识到自己的注意力在转移。它还可能让你更加意识到伴侣在场时自己拿起手机的频率。
   (19)如果伴侣的工作要求24小时待命,那就商量出能够兼顾工作和你的合理界限。
   (20)“最大的挑战是人们对这些问题讨论得不够,”丹尼尔·埃伦贝格说道,他是精神治疗医师兼有效关系公司贝尔夫人的合伙人,“我们需要展开社会交往。”
   (21)如果你的伴侣似乎不愿意放弃根深蒂固的手机习惯,可以考虑转向客观根源。与其指责对方,不如建议双方都仔细审视自己的手机习惯。
   (22)“夫妻需要结盟并共同商定新规则的内容。”特克尔博士说道。
   (23)康涅狄格大学的精神病学教授、互联网与科技戒瘾中心的创始人大卫·格林菲尔德博士开发了一个简单的测试,“智能手机强迫症测验”,来帮助确定一个人的手机使用是否有问题。让分数来评判,而不是你去评判。