| Public speaking fills most people with
dread. Humiliation is the greatest fear; self-exposure and failing to appeal to
the audience come a close second. Women hate it most, since girls are
pressurized from an early age to be concerned with appearances of all
kinds. Most people have plenty of insecurities, and this seems like a situation that will bring them out. If parents, teachers or peers mocked your foibles as a child, you fear a repeat. If you were under pressure to be perfect, you are terrified of failing in the most public of ways. While extroverts will feel less fear before the ordeal, it does not mean they will necessarily do it better. Some very shy people manage to shine. In fact, personality is not the best predictor of who does it well. Regardless of what you are like in real life, the key seems to be to act yourself. Actual acting, as in performing the scripted lines of a character other than yourself, does not do the job. While politicians may limit damage by having carefully rehearsed, written screeds to speak from, there is always a hidden awareness among the audience that the words might not be true. Although, as Earl Spencer proved at his sister Princess Diana's funeral, it is possible both to prepare every word and to act naturally. In script rarely works and it is used as a crutch by most people. But, being yourself doesn't work either. If you spoke as if you were in your own kitchen, it would be too authentic, too unaware of the need to communicate with an audience. I remember going to see British psychiatrist RD Laing speak in public. He behaved like a seriously odd person, talking off the top of his head. Although he was talking about madness and he wrote on mental illness, he seemed to be exhibiting rather than explaining it. The best psychological place from which to speak is an unselfconscious self-consciousness, providing the illusion of being natural. Studies suggest that this state of "flow", as psychologists call it, is very satisfying. Whether in normal life or making speeches, the key is to remind yourself that, contrary to what your teachers or parents may have implied, your best is good enough. In the zone, a strange place of authentic falsehood and shallow depth, play is possible. |