It is commonly acknowledged that honesty is the best policy but just what is meant by honesty and why is it the best policy? And what is meant by best? The implications of being honest would seem to be obvious, but if we look more deeply, (1) {{U}}there are advantages to adopting honesty as a way of living that do not at first present themselves clearly.{{/U}} (2) {{U}}There are hidden benefits in being honest that are beyond the traditional perceptions about what being honest affords us.{{/U}}
Honesty is least of all about what we say and most of all about how we are. (3) {{U}}It is most important to understand that honesty cannot even be restricted to the definition of our actions, for there is a whole network of behavior that is affected by our degree of honesty and the degree to which we allow honesty to saturate our lives.{{/U}} The absolute nature of honesty sees to it that we cannot apply it selectively. It is quite impossible to be truly honest with one person while all the other lying to ourselves about someone else. It is not realistic to assume that we can maintain a dishonest relationship with one friend and maintain an honest relationship with another. Friendship could not exist if we were able to perform such a feat. (4) {{U}}It is true then, that honesty applies not only to the words we say and the things we do, but also in the feelings we feel and how we allow those feelings to impact on our lives and on our perception of our lives.{{/U}}
(5) {{U}}It is not commonly recognized that honesty applies as much to our relationship with our feelings as it does to any other aspect of our lives and yet perhaps this is the most important in terms of how it affects us{{/U}}. It must be remembered that usually our feelings are the most significant representatives of our relationship with ourselves. In a sense, our feelings and what we do about those feelings essentially define our outlook on life. It is easily demonstrated in the media that individuals are often defined by how they feel about issues. For example, if an individual is opposed to abortion, they will be described as an "anti-abortionist". If an unruly dog attacks someone's child, then a likely description could be "outraged parent". Perhaps a group of local people objects to something happening in their street, a possible description might read "angry residents".