单选题
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"Winners"
Winners have different potentials. Achievement is not the most
important thing, authenticity is. The authentic person experiences the reality
of himself by knowing himself, being himself, and becoming a credible,
responsive person. He actualizes his own unprecedented uniqueness and
appreciates the uniqueness of others.
A winner is not afraid to
do his own thinking and to use his own knowledge. He can separate facts from
opinion and doesn't pretend to have all the answers. He listens to others,
evaluates what they say, but comes to his own conclusions. While he can admire
and respect other people, he is not totally defined, demolished, bound, or awed
by them.
A winner can be spontaneous. He does not have to
respond in predetermined, rigid ways. He can change his plans when the situation
calls for it. A winner has a zest for life. He enjoys work, play, food, other
people, sex, and the world of nature. Without guilt, he enjoys his own
accomplishments. Without envy he enjoys the accomplishments of others.
Although a winner can freely enjoy himself, he can also postpone
enjoyment. He can discipline himself in the present to enhance his enjoyment in
the future. He is not afraid to go after what he wants but does so in
appropriate ways. He does not get his security by controlling others. He does
not set himself up to lose.
A winner cares about the world and
its peoples. He is not isolated from the general problems of society. He
is concerned, compassionate, and committed to improving the quality of life.
Even in the face of national and international adversity, he does not see
himself as totally powerless. He does what he can to make the world a better
place. "Losers"
Although people are born to win, they are also
born helpless and totally dependent on their environment. Winners successfully
make the transition from total helplessness to independence and then to
interdependence. Losers do not. Somewhere along the line they begin to avoid
becoming self-responsible.
As we have noted, few people are
total winners or losers. Most of them are winners in some areas of their lives
and losers in others. Their winning or losing is influenced by what happens to
them in childhood.
A lack of response to dependency needs, poor
nutrition, brutality, unhappy relationships, disease, continuing
disappointments, inadequate physical care, and traumatic events are among the
many experiences that contribute to making people losers. Such experiences
interrupt, deter, or prevent the normal progress toward autonomy and
self-actualization. To cope with negative experiences a child learns to
manipulate himself and others. These manipulative techniques are hard to give up
later in life and often become set patterns. A winner works to shed them. A
loser hangs on to them.
A loser represses his capacity to
express spontaneously and appropriately his full range of possible behaviour. He
may be unaware of other options for his life if the path he chooses goes
nowhere. He is afraid to try new things. He maintains his own status quo. He is
a repeater. He repeats not only his own mistakes but often those of his family
and culture also.
A loser has difficulty giving and receiving
affection. He does not enter into intimate, honest, direct relationships with
others. Instead, he tries to manipulate them into living up to his expectations
and channels his energies into living up to their expectations.
When a person wants to discover and change his "losing streak", when he
wants to become more like the winner he was born to be, he can use gestalt-type
experiments and transactional analysis to make change happen. These are two new,
exciting, psychological approaches to human problems. The first was given new
life by Dr. Frederick Peris; the second was developed by Dr. Eric
Berne.
Gestalt therapy is not new. However, its current
popularity has grown very rapidly since it Was given new impetus and direction
by Dr. Frederick Peris. Gestalt is a German word for which there is no exact
English equivalent; it means, roughly, the forming of an organised, meaningful
whole.
Peris perceives many personalities as lacking wholeness,
as being fragmented. He claims people are often aware of only parts of
themselves rather than of the whole self. For example, a woman may not know or
want to admit that sometimes she acts like her mother; a man may not know or
admit that sometimes he wants to cry like a baby.
The aim of
gestalt therapy is to help one to become whole-to help the person become aware
of, admit to, reclaim, and integrate his fragmented parts. Integration helps a
person make the transition from dependency to self-sufficiency; from
authoritarian outer support to authentic inner support.