| In bringing up children, every parent
watches eagerly the child's acquisition (学会) of each new skill the first spoken
words, the first independent steps, or the beginning of reading and writing. It
is often tempting to hurry the child beyond his natural learning rate, but this
can set up dangerous feelings of failure and states of worry in the child. This
might happen at any stage. A baby might be forced to use a toilet too early, a
young child might be encouraged to learn to read before he knows the meaning of
the words he reads. On the other hand, though, if a child is left alone too
much, or without any learning opportunities, he loses his natural enthusiasm for
life and his desire to find out new things for himself. Parents vary greatly in their degree of strictness towards their children. Some may be especially strict in money matters. Others are sever over times of coming home at night or punctuality for meals. In general, the controls imposed represent the needs of the parents and the values of the community as much as the child's own happiness. As regards the development of moral standards in the growing child, consistency is very important in parental teaching. To forbid a thing one day and excuse it the next is no foundation for morality (道德). Also, parents should realize that "example is better than precept". If they are not sincere and do not practise what they preach (说教), their children may grow confused, and emotionally insecure when they grow old enough to think for themselves, and realize they have been to some extent fooled. A sudden awareness of a marked difference between their parents' principles and their morals can be a dangerous disappointment. |