| Most of us are taught to pay attention
to what is said--the words. Words do provide us with some information, but
meanings are{{U}} (1) {{/U}}from so many other sources that it would
hinder our effectiveness{{U}} (2) {{/U}}a partner to a relationship to
rely too heavily on words{{U}} (3) {{/U}}Words are used to describe
only a small part of the many ideas we associate with any given{{U}} (4)
{{/U}}. Sometimes we can gain insight into some of those{{U}} (5)
{{/U}}if we listen for{{U}} (6) {{/U}}words. We don't always say
what we mean{{U}} (7) {{/U}}mean what we say. Mostly we mean several
things at once. A person wanting to purchase a house says to the current owner.
"This step has to be fixed before I'll buy." The owner says, "It's been like
that for years".{{U}} (8) {{/U}}, the step hasn't been like that for
years, but the{{U}} (9) {{/U}}message is: "I don't want to fix it. We
can put up with it why can't you?" The{{U}} (10) {{/U}}for a more
expansive view of meaning can be developed by examining a message{{U}} (11)
{{/U}}who said it, when it occurred, the{{U}} (12) {{/U}}conditions
or situation, and how it was said. When a message occurs can also{{U}} (13) {{/U}}associated meaning. A friend's unusually docile behavior may only be understood by{{U}} (14) {{/U}}that it was preceded by situations that required a (n){{U}} (15) {{/U}}amount of assertiveness. We would do well to listen for how message are{{U}} (16) {{/U}}The words, "it sure has been nice to have you over," can be said with{{U}} (17) {{/U}}and excited or ritualistically. The phrase can be said once or{{U}} (18) {{/U}}several times. And the meaning we associate with the phrase will change{{U}} (19) {{/U}}Sometimes if we say something infrequently it assumes more importance; sometimes the more we say something the{{U}} (20) {{/U}}importance it assumes. |