Why are so many people so afraid of failure? Quite simply because no one tells us how to face failure so that failure becomes an experience that will lead to growth. We forget that failure is part of the human condition and that every person has the right to fail.
    Most parents work hard at either preventing failure or protecting their children from the knowledge that they have failed. One way is to lower standards. A mother describes her child's hastily made table as "perfect", even though it wobbles(摇晃) on uneven legs. Another way is to shift blame. If John fails science, his teacher is unfair or stupid.
    The trouble with failure prevention devices is that they leave a child unequipped for life in the real world. The young need to learn that no one can be best at everything, no one can win all the time—and that it is possible to enjoy a game even when you don't win. A child who's not invited to a birthday party, who doesn't make the honor roll on the baseball team, feels terrible, of course. But parents should not offer a quick consolation(安慰) prize or say, "It doesn't matter" because it does. The young should be allowed to experience disappointment and be helped to master it.
    Failure is never pleasurable. It hurts adults and children alike. But it can make a positive contribution to your life once you learn to use it. Step one is to ask "why did I fail?" Resist the natural impulse to blame someone else. Ask yourself what you did wrong and how you can improve. If someone else can help, don't be shy about inquiring.