| Shyness is the cause of much
unhappiness for a great many people. Shy people are anxious and self-conscious;
that is, they are excessively concerned with their own appearance and actions.
Worrisome thoughts are constantly occurring in their minds: What kind of
impression am I making? Do they like me? Do I sound stupid? Am I wearing
unattractive clothes? It is obvious that such uncomfortable feelings must affect people adversely. A person's self-concept is reflected in the way he or she behaves, and the way a person behaves affects other people's reactions. In general, the way people think about themselves has a profound effect on all the areas of their lives. Shy people, having low self-esteem, are likely to be passive and easily influenced by others. They need reassurance that they are doing "the right thing". Shy people are very sensitive to criticism; that they feel it confirms their inferiority. They also find it difficult to be pleased by compliments because they believe they are unworthy of praise. A shy person may respond to a compliment with a statement like this one: "You're just saying that to make me feel good. I know it's not true. "It is clear that, while self-awareness is a healthy quality, overdoing it is harmful. Can shyness be completely eliminated, or at least reduced? Fortunately, people can overcome shyness with determined and patient efforts in building self-confidence. Since shyness goes hand in hand with lack of self-esteem, it is important for people to accept their weaknesses as well as their strengths. For example, most people would like to be "A" students in every subject. It is not fair for them to label themselves inferior because they have difficulty in some areas. People's expectations of themselves must be realistic. Living on the impossible leads to a sense of inadequacy. Each one of us is a unique, worthwhile individual. We are interested in our own personal ways. The better we understand ourselves, the easier it becomes to live up to our full potential. Let's not allow shyness to block our chances for a rich and fulfilling life. |