[A] Negotiation Is a Two-way Street
[B] Correct Common Negotiation Mistakes
[C] Do the Right Kind of Homework
[D] Don’t Be Afraid to Have Difficult Conversations
[E] Tactic Is Dictated by Situation
[F] Try to Ask Good Questions
[G] Deal with Issues up front
“Most people think of negotiation only when they need to get something more”, says Tammy Lenski, a professional mediator who helps universities and businesses nationwide with conflict management. “The reality is that at work, pretty much every conversation is a negotiation. You’re negotiating deadlines, the quality level, what might be taken off your plate to make room for this priority project and what benefit you might get for taking on that project. The minute you walk into the workplace in the morning, you’re negotiating. “
Here are some of Lenski’s tips on becoming a good negotiator — and improving your situation at work:
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People either are too confrontational or cave in because they’re afraid to ask some basic questions. “If people think of a negotiation more as a conversation than something that needs to be won, they’ll do much better, “ says Tammy Lenski.
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Playing hardball in the office can backfire when you need to work with your coworkers every day. “You have an ongoing relationship with these folks, and you’re trying to not leave debris, “ Lenski says. “People need to stop thinking about negotiating as getting more of what I need, which means getting less of what you need. “
Instead, find out the other person’s needs, and try to come to a conclusion that helps both of you. “The best negotiating is using the really good human relation skills in an effective way, “ Lenski says. “It isn’t about pushing or convincing or manipulating the other person. It’s about having them figure out what they want and how you can help them get it. “
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In negotiations, you know what you want. But you also need to find out what the other side wants in return. It’s most efficient if you just ask openly.
When starting her private practice 10 years ago, Lenski presented her fee to provide conflict-management services to a company in turmoil. The department head asked her to slash her price 20 percent. Lenski said this was her bottom-line number, but the department head said everything is negotiable.
Lenski then asked the essential question: “Why do you believe everything is negotiable?” The department head explained the head of finance would ask if she bargained and got a good deal. At that point, Lenski crossed out the original fee and wrote a new one that was about 25 percent higher. “Will this work?” she asked.
The department head said, “Well, I’ll have to offer you 20 percent less than that. “ And they had a deal.
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Instead of keeping quiet and thus becoming resentful, “negotiating is figuring out how to raise the things that are bothering you so they can be sorted out, ”Lenski says.
Instead of just thinking about what might make it difficult to accomplish your goal, talk with your boss about those issues right away. “It’s much more helpful in general to think about under what conditions you might make it possible, and how can you help me do that, ” Lenski says.
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Lenski says people tend to waste a lot of time worrying about scary negotiation scenarios. “They go into it thinking about all the ways it can go wrong, ” she says, even though the negotiation generally turns out much better than expected. “Instead, they should spend their time thinking of it from the perspective of the other person. What would make them want to join with you to figure things out? Not what will make them change their mind, but what will make them want to sort this out with me. Invite them into joint problem-solving. ”