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The American Psychological Association defines resilience as the ability to adapt in the face of adversity, trauma or tragedy. A resilient person may go through difficulty and uncertainty, but he or she will doggedly bounce back.

Optimism is one of the central traits required in building resilience, say Yale University investigators in the Annual Review of Clinical Psychology. They add that resilient people learn to hold on their sense of humor and this can help them to keep a flexible attitude when big changes of plan are warranted. The ability to accept your lot with equanimity also plays an important role, the study adds.

One of the best ways to acquire resilience is through experiencing a difficult childhood, the sociologist Steven Stack reports in the Journal of Social Psychology. For example, short men are less likely to commit suicide than tall guys, he says, because the short people develop psychological defense skills to handle the bullies and mickey-taking that their lack of stature attracts. By contrast, those who enjoyed adversity-free youths can get derailed by setbacks later on because they have never been inoculated against agro.

If you are handicapped by having had a happy childhood, then practicing proactive optimism can help you to become more resilient. Studies of resilient people show that they take more risks; they court failure and learn not to fear it.

And despite being thick-skinned, resilient types are also more open than average to other people. Bouncing through knockbacks is all part of the process. It is about optimistic risk-taking—being confident that people will like you. Simply smiling and being warm to people can help. It is an altruistic path to self-interest—and if it achieves nothing else, it will reinforce an age-old adage: hard times can bring out the best in you.