revise for content

(录音提到“In order to answer these questions, what you need to do first is to revise for content”， 即修改论文首先要修改目录。 故本题填入 revise for content。 )

(your) major points

(录音提到“... it may have discussed things that do not contribute significantly to your major points”， 即论文大纲可能会有很多与文章无关的内容。 故本题填入(your) major points。 )

sufficient evidence

(录音提到“Your reader needs sufficient evidence to accept what you are saying ...”， 即读者需要足够的论据才会认同你的观点。 故本题填入 sufficient evidence。 )

the logic

(录音提到“If you find it easy to produce an outline ... a clear logic to the flow of the content”， 即如果论文大纲在草稿中一目了然， 就说明文章逻辑清晰。 故本题填入 the logic。 )

a self-imposed limit

(录音提到“But even if there is no stated limit, or you are allowed to write as long as you like, please adhere to a self-imposed limit ...”， 即使论文不限长度， 也要自己设定长度限制， 如果没有需要长篇大论才能解释清楚的内容， 就一定要将论文限制在自己设定的长度以内。 故本题填入 a self-imposed limit。 )

components

(录音提到“The next step is to revise for components of the essay, including the paragraphs, sentences and individual words”， 即下一步就是修改论文的各个组成部分， 包括段落、 句子和措辞。 故本题填入 components。 )

provide sentence variety

(录音提到“Well, I suggest you avoid this by breaking up some of the longer sentences to provide variety”， 即建议我们拆分长难句， 使句式多样化。 故本题填入 provide sentence variety。 )

explain complex ideas

(录音提到“Use short sentences to make important points, and long sentences to explain complex ideas”， 即用短句阐述重点， 用长句解释复杂的观点。 故本题填入 explain complex ideas。 )

imprecise or wordy

(录音提到“For diction, a very important tip is to eliminate imprecise or wordy language”， 即删去模棱两可或冗长的话。 故本题填入 imprecise or wordy。 )

nouns and verbs

(录音提到“Try to write as much as possible with nouns and verbs ...”， 即尽量多使用名词和动词。 故本题填入nouns and verbs。 )

【录音原文】

Revision of Essay Drafts

Good morning, everyone. In today‘s lecture, I'm going to talk about how to revise essay drafts and give you some tips as well.
The initial revision should, of course, focus on the essay as a whole. You‘d ask yourself—Do I reach my writing objective? Does my essay directly answer the question? Is my main idea clear?[1] In order to answer these questions,what you need to do first is to revise for content. The typical rough draft may have too little and too much content, all at the same time. It will have touched the surface of some portions of the essay, without providing adequate explanation or convincing detail.[2] At the same time, it may have discussed things that do not contribute significantly to your major points.

So, what is a good essay then? A good essay eliminates irrelevant material while including all the information necessary to your main point.[3] Your reader needs sufficient evidence to accept what you are saying, so you have to make sure you have adequately developed and supported your main idea. Content that is unrelated to the main idea should be eliminated.

Then, what is the second step in revision? That is revise for organization. A well-organized essay will group similar ideas together and put them in the proper order.[4] If you find it easy to produce an outline from your draft, this means that there is a clear logic to the flow of the content, and you can be reasonably certain that you have a well-ordered essay.Otherwise, reorder your content.

The third step you are advised to take is to revise for length. Is your essay approximately the right length? If it is substantially longer than the stated limit, you have to consider reducing the supporting material.[5] But even if there is no stated limit, or you are allowed to write as long as you like, please adhere to a self-imposed limit and, unless addressing a topic that needs lengthy explanation, stick to it.

The steps I have mentioned so far actually refer to revision of an essay as a whole.[6] The next step is to revise for components of the essay, including the paragraphs, sentences and individual words. You may ask, how am I going to revise paragraphs? Well, I‘d say a paragraph is not arbitrarily formed. It should revolve around an idea, a theme. Let me tell you one way to revise paragraphs. Isolate a paragraph at a time and make sure it runs smoothly and is not merely a bunch of unrelated statements put together.

As for revision of sentences and words, most essay writers pile on one long sentence after another.[7] Well, I suggest you avoid this by breaking up some of the longer sentences to provide variety.[8] Use short sentences to make important points, and long sentences to explain complex ideas. Also try to use a variety of sentence structures to maintain reader interest. Eliminate sentences that sound awkward when read aloud.

[9] For diction, a very important tip is to eliminate imprecise or wordy language. For example, use “although”instead of “despite the fact that”. Try to add vigor to your writing by removing clichés and use fresh and interesting descriptions.[10] Try to write as much as possible with nouns and verbs, rather than primarily with adjectives that slow the pace and reduce impact. Similarly, write in the active, not the passive voice.

Now, let me just repeat what I have said today. Revision is important. When you revise your draft as a whole, pay attention to content, organization and length. But, don‘t forget to revise your essay in detail. Revision of sentences and words can also make the essay more interesting to readers.