【正确答案】
(Student's sample)
Thomas Edison is a famous man I admire. He is a great American inventor. Who invent a lot of important things. He is also businessman who earned a lot of money. The most important thing he invent is the electric light. Edison is considered one of the most prolific inventors, who holded a record 1,093 patents in his name. Edison improved the history and invented history.
(Improved sample)
Thomas Edison is a famous man I admire. As a great American inventor, he invented a lot of important things. He was also a successful businessman who earned a lot of money. His most important inventions include the electric light. Edison is considered as one of the most prolific inventors because he held a record 1,093 patents in his name. I admire Edison because he made history.