Being a good parent is harder now that it has ever been before. In pressurized modern lives, demands to be a fulfilled individual, and a good partner and a good worker, take no account of being a good parent. (46){{U}}We haven't left space for the nurturing parents to care for their children and provide the kind of care that their children need, resulting in the fact that many families in the western world just don't work.{{/U}}
Most of us have a bit of yearning for a table full of children descending neatly in size, the older ones helping the younger ones. Let's control our nostalgia: that" traditional family" had many faults, not least in the roles it imposed on females. (47) {{U}}The problem is that in the last generation or so we've come to assume that women should be able and want to do everything that both men and women have done by tradition.{{/U}} And it's just not possible. Indeed since adopting a male agenda in life is probably only another form of the traditional ethics that men are superior to women, quite a number of highly educated and economically privileged women are now opting to take career breaks so as to be at home with their children for longer than the 18 weeks.
Having children -- especially the first child -- puts a bigger strain on a couple's relationship than anything else they ever do. (48) {{U}}Facing the ever-enormous stress caused by the kids, some who stay together emerge stronger and richer, but numerous couples never recover from the strain.{{/U}} Parents are often divided at many aspects of child nurturing, such as early education and habit forming. (49) {{U}}So a future of smaller families and more people choosing not to have children at all could well leave couples closer than they are today; for many, the purpose of being together would be solely to pleasure and support each other --an interesting prospect.{{/U}} Let's hope people in the future will only have children if they really want them. And that should mean something that is seen as a much more positive commitment than it is now, and that parents are socially supported, and admired for doing a good job.
(50) {{U}}The whole point of marriage is that it imposes clear obligations, not just the right to pursue your own happiness, the main part of which is to provide both emotional and practical nurture for children.{{/U}} Children demand sacrifice and altruism, a long-term investment of parental time and money. Of course, the highest reward that parents expect is to see their children develop and become useful talents for the society.