There is so much more meaning to a message than what exists in the spoken or written words.For example, if a person says,"you know, Barbara, I really like you", it has different meaningsdepending on whether it is said by a man or woman, in an office or a bar. Context, the tone ofvoice, the stress put on certain words, as well as the eye contact, physical distance, and therelationship between the speaker and the listener are all factors that give meaning to what's being said.Sometimes, these factors can generate much more meaning than the words themselves. Ifa friend says to me,"Gee, I can't wait to see the result of the upcoming election",myinterpretation of that message will be based upon my knowledge of my friend's political views, thesituation with the current campaign, and my ability to understand the meaning behind the tone ofvoice.
Our ability to understand such a cue is developed without us being aware of it through ourprocess of socialization. Our interpretation of these cues just comes naturally. Every culture has itsown set of culture cues that each member of that culture understands. It's common how a personfrom culture A and a person from culture B interpret the very same words in totally different ways.Here are some examples:
When"Sarcasm"Means"Sincerity"
Marsha thought things were doing well with her new French friends, particularly Bertrand. Heoften invited her to interesting and fun events, but he was often making fun of her. One day at an artexhibition, while looking at a particularly abstract piece, Marsha said that she couldn't understandwhat the artist was trying to express. Bertrand smiled and responded,"Yes, I'm afraid French artis far too advanced for Americans to understand.” Marsha was upset. She really liked him andcouldn't figure out what caused him to frequently make fun of her. So, she asked her host motherabout it."My dear," the host mother told her,"this means that he really likes you. In France,when someone feels comfortable enough to make fun of you, that means that you have beenwelcomed as a very close friend."
When"Now"Doesn't Mean"Now"
Joshua, an American student in Heredia, called his Costa Rican partner to meet for coffee.When he asked what time they should meet, the response was "Nos encontramos ahora enelparquet"."Ahora"literally means now. So, he grabbed his jacket and headed straight to the parkwhere they agreed to meet. Half an hour later, his friend arrived without the least sign of regret forbeing late. After discussing the matter with his Spanish teacher, Joshua learned that in Costa Rica,"Ahora"means sometime within the hour. And, if people decide to meet someplace like a park, itis no problem for one or the other to wait for a while because they will spend some nice time in thepark, probably running into some other friends, or meeting someone friendly.
When"Yes"Doesn't Mean"Yes”
Many business people might have experienced this frustrating situation in Japan. Sarah,ayoung businesswoman from New York, was sent to Japan to a big deal for her company. While givingher presentation, she became more and more certain of the sale because her Japanese businesspartners continually nodded their heads as she spoke. When she finished, she thought the deal wasmade and asked when they would like to sign the agreement. She was shocked when she was toldthat they were not yet sure whether they wanted to make the deal or not. What Sarah did not know isthat in Japan, nodding the head does not necessarily mean "yes" as it does in the U.S. It can alsomean "yes, I am listening and understanding what you are saying."
These stories provide just a few examples of how language skills are simply not enough toachieve effective communication in another culture. To get the most of your international learningexperience, focusing on gaining cross-cultural skills will enable you to do the following:
· understand how culture affects communication;
· deal with behavior that seems to you strange or offensive;
· learn from your cultural adaptation process;
· communicate more effectively.
These skills will also help you when you learn a new language.After all, language is areflection of the culture from which it developed.