| Granted, it's a pretty serious time to
be living on this planet. Insane terrorists, political fingerpointing, a string
of awful hurricanes, you name it, all filling the headlines with grim reminders
that life aren't so peachy. Even reading the smaller stories in national
publications seems to indicate that the world is run by gruwnups, and they're
busy taking the fun out of everything. The other day I was browsing through one of those magazines that explain serious science news to us dumbbells, and came across an item which announced that two different companies have perfected a pill that contains all the good-for-you stuff found in a glass of red wine and is completely non-alcoholic. Now I'm sure there are other adults out there who, like me, were pleasantly surprised to learn that a little tipple of pinot noir with the roast duckling might not turn one into a slobbering drunk but may actually be beneficial to your health. The news was a single candle, lit in a world of darkness, easing a tiny part of that big rock of guilt we constantly lug uphill. Of course, the minute the news got around, some Italian scientists began putting that age-old innocent beverage through a freeze-drying process that preserved the benefits while removing the alcohol along with all that unnecessary enjoyment. Swell news for teetotalers, but just another indication that our main focus is on getting through each grim day without a moment of relief. Sound far-fetched? Even comic books (a main source of amusement, when I was a tad) have become literary vehicles for philosophical messages. I figure it's all a big plot. Something probably cooked up by mommies and dictators and insurance companies and people who play their boom boxes too loudly. Just to make sure that you and I are prevented from squeezing a dollop of guilt-free enjoyment from a modest amount of fermented grape juice. Mark my words, the next great leap in science won't be in the field of cloning or DNA research or rocket science. What they'll do is develop a way to turn a big juicy standing rib roast into a pinch of tasteless grey protein-packed powder you can sprinkle on a piece of white bread and have for dinner. Remember: just because we're paranoid don't mean they ain't out to get us. |