单选题
The Psychology of Weddings
A. Weddings, like any other major life event, can bring out the best and worst in all of us: generosity, creativity, humor, as well as jealousy, control, and even boredom. Many times, women and men approach weddings from vastly different points of view. It seems that women are more obvious about their feelings, yet weddings also deeply affect men as well—especially, of course, the groom. Here are some insights into women's psychology of weddings.
B. All women have, at some level, an amount of 'wedding indoctrination (教条)' buried deep within. We are raised to believe in the 'fairy-tale romance', and whether the idea is appealing or revolting, we've all been exposed over and over again to the notion of being rescued by a handsome prince riding on a white horse. There's also not much of a leap between a bride and a princess in the female psyche. The traditional bridal gown is our one opportunity to be 'Queen for a Day'. Our officiant (司仪牧师) 'crowns' us in front of loving spectators and pronounces us husband and wife, and after much fanfare (号角声), we are served an elegant meal by those who wait on us. The bride even has her very own attendant and the maid of honor.
C. The ceremony itself is expected by many women to be 'perfect'; a wealth of advertising budgets are spent convincing you that one service or product will help you 'create the perfect day'. 'Perfect', in fact, is probably the word used most often in wedding advertising. Ladies, it's our one opportunity in life to play the ultimate dress-up, make a grand entrance with the perfect dress, hair, makeup, and more. We express our vows with perfect grace and poise, exchange rings as symbols of our eternal bond and then turn to face our adoring audience as they spend the remainder of the day congratulating and admiring us. The photographer captures each precious moment as it unfolds. As we arrive at the reception and are presented (complete with our new title), we are seated above the crowd, surrounded by our admirers, beautiful flowers, gifts, and music. We are the first to be served, the first to dance, and the first to cut the cake. When else in our lives is one day centered completely around us?
D. While men tend to think of all this that women take very seriously as a lot of hoopla (喧闹), those who take it a little too seriously turn into the dreaded 'Bridezilla'—the ultimate control freak (控制欲强的人) and perfectionist who delights in bossing others around, who is never satisfied. For most brides, however, the wedding is an experience in the ultimate event planning. Although many advertisers claim that weddings can and should be stress-free, we all know that they never are. We place too much importance—consciously or unconsciously—on our wedding to have a casual attitude about it. What is it within us women, in particular, that demands such impossibly high standards?
E. First, let's look at the 'Queen for a Day' analogy (类比). Women still struggle with discrimination, even in 21st-century America. We all share the same wound, whether we are self-made CEOs bathing in the limelight (关注的中心), or berated (挨骂的) customer service agents bathing in a sea of gray corporate cubicles (小隔间). We all struggle to be taken seriously, even if it is just for a day. Rather ironic, then, is that a large and often complex event like a wedding offers us symbolic respite (暂缓) from the lack of control we often feel in our daily life. Men, by contrast, truly don't seem to get angry when the bouquet (花束) is not what was originally chosen. Men just seem to be able to roll with these things, generally speaking, so much better than women.
F. And 'better than' is exactly what's deeply buried underneath all our expectations, hopes, and dreams. While women strive to show that, on this one single day, they can be 'better' than any other day, men sail through all the planning details with nonchalance (冷淡). When men get involved in the planning details, the meaning of it all just isn't there like it is for women. Men don't care if there are roses or lilies. Somehow, they've managed to keep their focus on the one thing that really counts: that they are committing to the love of their lives if they're married at the end of the day, that's all that really matters. We know it, and they know it. So, how do we as women find our balance?
G. First, we have to take a bold and daring look inside ourselves. In our drive for perfectionism, we as women have possibly encountered some degree of ironic failure. It's more often that men, our beloved husbands, who keep a cool head and (if we have just a little awareness) show us that, they are 'better'. They've probably not lost any sleep over the details of the planning. They may have tossed and turned the night before the wedding when the reality of 'lifelong commitment' starts to sink in, but that's fodder (素材) for another article.
H. So ladies, what's the worst that could happen if our wedding isn't perfect? Do we think our audience of beloved family and friends will realize we aren't perfect either? Oh no! Perhaps they will think we don't deserve our new status. Or, even worse, maybe they just won't take us seriously.
I. This may all sound too harsh, but as a woman, a bride, a bridesmaid, and a wedding guest, I've seen it firsthand. All of us—women and men included—strive to prove to ourselves each day that we matter, that we are important, capable, and above all, worthy. We can convince ourselves that everyone adores us and is ever so impressed by us. For women, delusions of grandeur (妄自尊大) come out in full force at our weddings, and many other more mundane occasions. And, to be fair, men's do too—just usually not at weddings.