| We can make mistakes at any age. Some
mistakes we make are about money. But most mistakes are about people. "Did Jerry
really care when I broke up with Helen? " "When I got that great job, did Jim
really feel good about it, as a friend? Or did he envy my luck?" When we look
back, doubts like these can make us feel bad. But when we look back, it's too
late. Why do we go wrong about our friends, or our enemies? Sometimes what people say hides their real meaning. And if we don't really listen we miss the feeling behind the words. Suppose someone tells you, "You're a lucky dog." That's friendly. But "lucky dog"? There is a bit of envy in those words. Maybe he doesn't see it himself. But mentioning the "dog" puts you down a little. What he may be saying is that he doesn't think you ought to have your luck. "Just think of all the things you have to be thankful for" is another noise that says one thing and means another. It could mean that the speaker is trying to get you to see your problem as part of your life as a whole. But is he? Wrapped up in this phrase is the thought that your problem isn't important. It's telling you to think of all the starving people in the world when you haven't got a date for Saturday night. How can you tell the real meaning behind someone's words? One way is to take a good look at the person talking. Do his words fit the way he looks? Does what he says agree with the tone of voice? His posture (姿态)? The look in his eyes? Stop and think. (47) {{U}}If you spend one minute thinking about the real meaning of what people say to you, you may avoid another mistake.{{/U}} |