【正确答案】Sample G
I have carried out a research about company's internal communications and show you our study methods and our findings.
METHODS
1. We designed a paper to cover all kinds of questions which may show company's internal communications. Then we selected a team in charge of the whole process of implemetion the survey.
2. We chosed some people random who come from different departments to have a panel to express themselves freely regarding the topic. Then, we had a good record and notes of that. And some of them provide some useful suggestions.
On the whole, the methods we conducted the program are scientific and effective.
FINDINGS
1. Most of staff think we should improve company's communications.
2. The causes of preventing internal communications are as followed below:
1. Different departments seldom exchange informations about what they are doing now and what are their newly outcome and something like that.
2. Different team rarely cc e-mail to other relative team of other staff to share their informations.
3. The time to express oneself is too limited and everyone is just oriented to their own job itself and seldom share resources.
4. The activities which are attended by different departments or different teams are not common.
PROPOSALS
To respond the above problems and findings, I will propose as below.
1. To CC e-mail each other in the internal company which include not only in the department but among departments.
2. To exchange information among different departments and different teams oftenly. In order to achieve this goal, we can organize different activities to creat a atmosphere for them. Such as a panel, a training class, a outdoor travel and so on.
3. To open a company know-how discussion or training routinely to let every staff have a strategic idea and a long-term eyesight.
Band 1
There is considerable irrelevance in this answer and a serious lack of control. An appropriate format is used, but the lack of cohesion and non sequiturs (e.g. in 'Finding' number 3) result in a very negative effect on the reader.
Sample H
Making communication better
We have 10 people working in our admin department. All kind of communication between each other is very important and it needs to be quick and affective. At the moment we do send Emails for sharing happening in every day basis. We also have a weekly meeting where some of us get together and look over the subjects from previous week and also make plans for the up coming ones. There is also someone there to make notes which will be typed over to correct minutes and sent to everybody who attended the meeting.
My concern is that on those meetings we don't have the whole admin team present and therefore many times we have talked on the behalf of the ones who are not attending. This kind of communication might bring miscommunication to place.
To resolve this matter I think that we should have everybody on that weekly meeting to get correct information from the right people.
At least it is worth to have a go.
Best regards,
Kaie Sirak
Band 2
This answer contains frequent errors, which sometimes obscure communication. The content points are all covered but not dealt with in depth. The end is particularly weak, leaving a negative impression on the reader. Overall, it fits more of the descriptors for band 2 than 3.