| "Hi there. How's it going?" "Oh, fine. Fine. How about this weather, huh?" "Well, I guess we can always use the rain." 'What's that? This story? Oh, just a little look at small talk. You know, those seemingly meaningless conversations you have dozens of times a day. Maybe you're waiting for the elevator. Or in a line at the bank. It all seems pretty trivial. Idle chatter about traffic doesn't do much more than fill the air with empty words that are quickly forgotten. But you should know that small talk actually has a big place in our lives. Pat Oliver, assistant professor on arts, says that, "Left unchecked, small talk can be an invasion. It's so powerful. It does something to you." "Every morning after spending an hour and a half on the freeway I start the day with small talk with my secretary," Oliver says, "If I don't make small connection with another person, I can' t work." What causes it? As a rule, you're either trying to force something into your life, or you're using conversation as an invisible force field to keep them out. You can be wanting to connect with another person, and small talk is your introduction to more meaningful conversation. The way people use small talk is usually determined by where they happen to be at the time. Take the elevator, for instance. Now there's prime territory. Nobody knows anyone and there's no reason to start a conversation, but invariably, someone does. Making conversation in such peaceful social settings, according to Oliver, "can confirm your territory. It's a way of feeling liked and accepted." The topics of small talk don't matter. In fact, you don't want anything more taxing than the weather or the traffic. It's non-threatening talk in a threatening situation. However, the rules change quickly when you're with lots of people doing lots of talking. Let's say you're at a party. Now it' s time to use small talk as a way of making others feel more comfortable around you, so you don' t look silly standing by the food table alone all night. |