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{{B}}The Importance of
Just Being There{{/B}} "What's the most important thing you've
done in your life.'?" The question was put to me during a presentation I gave to
a group of lawyers. The answer came to me in an instant. It's
not the one I gave, because the setting wasn't right. As a lawyer in the
entertainment industry, I knew the audience wanted to hear some amusing stories
about my work with well known persons. But here's the true answer, the one that
leapt from the recesses of memory. The most important thing
I've ever done occurred on October 8, 1990. It was my mother's 65th birthday,
and I was back home for a family celebration. I began the day playing tennis
with a secondary -school friend I hadn't seen for a while. Between points we
talked about what had been happening in each other's lives. He and his wife had
just had a baby boy, who was keeping them up at night. While we
were playing, a car came screaming up the road toward the courts. It was my
friend's father, who shouted to my buddy that his baby had stopped breathing and
was being rushed to the hospital. In a flash my friend was in the car and gone,
disappearing in a cloud of dust. For a moment I just stood
there, paralyzed. Then I tried to figure out what I should do. Follow my friend
to the hospital? There was nothing I could accomplish there, I convinced myself.
My friend's son was in the care of doctors and nurses, and nothing I could do or
say would affect tile outcome. Be there for moral support? Well, maybe. But my
friend and his wife both }tad large families, and I knew they'd be surrounded by
relatives who would provide more than enough comfort and support, whatever
happened. All I could do at the hospital, I decided, was get in the way. Also, I
had planned a full day with my family, who were waiting for me to get home. So I
decided to head back to my folks' house and check in with my friend
later. As I started my rental car, I realized that my friend
had left his truck and keys at the courts. I now faced another problem. I
couldn't leave the keys in the truck. But if I locked the truck and took the
keys, what would I do with them? I could leave them at his house, but with no
paper on me to leave a note, how would he know I bad done that? Reluctantly I
decided to swing by the hospital and give him the keys. When I
arrived, I was directed to a room where my friend and his wife were waiting. As
I had thought, the room was filled with family members silently watching my
friend comfort his wife. I slipped in and stood by the door, trying to decide
what to do next. Soon a doctor appeared. He approached my friend and his wife,
and in a quiet voice told them that their son had died, the victim of sudden
infant death syndrome. For what seemed an eternity the two held
each other and cried, unaware of the rest of us standing around in pained,
stunned silence. After they had calmed themselves, the doctor suggested they
might want to spend a few moments with their son. My friend and
his wife stood up and walked numbly past their family. When they reached the
door, my friend's wife saw my standing in the corner. She came over and hugged
me and started to cry. My friend hugged me, too, and said, "Thanks for being
here. ' For the rest of that morning, I sat in the emergency
room of that hospital and watched my friend and his wife hold the body of their
infant son, and say good - bye. It's the most important thing I
have ever done. The experience taught me three
lessons. First: The most important thing I've ever done
happened when I was completely helpless. None of the things I had learned in
university, in three years of law school or in six years of legal practice were
of any use in that situation. Something terrible was happening to people I cared
about, and I was powerless to change the outcome. All I could do was stand by
and watch it happen. And yet it was critical that I do just that -just be there
when someone needed me. Second :The most important thing I've
ever done almost didn't happen because of things I had learned in classrooms and
professional life. Law school taught me how to take a set of facts, break them
down and organize them - then evaluate that information dispassionately. These
skills are critical for lawyers. When people come to us for help, they're often
stressed out and depend on a lawyer to think logically. But while learning to
think, I almost forgot how to feel. Today I have no donut that I should have
leapt into my car without hesitation and followed my friend to the
hospital. Third: I was reminded that life can change in an
instant. Intellectually we all know this -but we think the bad things, at
least, will happen to some one else. So we make our plans and see the future
stretching out in front of us as real as if it has already happened. But while
looking to tomorrow, we may forget to notice all the todays slipping by. And we
may forget that a job layoff, a serious illness, an encounter with a drunk
driver or other events can alter that future in the blink of an eye.
Sometimes it takes a tragedy to regain perspective on your own life. From
that experience I learned that the most important thing in life isn't the money
you make the status you attain or the honors you achieve. The most
important thing in life is the kids' team you coach or the poem you write - or
the time when you're just somebody's friend.
James M. Kennedy
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The author joined his friend and rushed to the hospital at once.
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The author was talking to his friend when a car came screaming up the road towards the courts.
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At last, I decided to drive to the hospital and give trim the keys.
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The author thought that the most important thing is the time when you are just someone's friend in life.
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The author had learned from his own experience that a lawyer cannot learn much in classrooms.
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It was his friend's wife who came and broke the bad news that his friend's baby ;vas sent to the hospital.
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The friend of the author was a lawyer too.
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The things I had learned in the law school is to take a set of facts,______ them______ and organize them.
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The author thought he would not be of much help, so he decided to______ his friend later.
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His friend had just had a baby boy, who was______ them______ at night.